you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
