Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
