I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Randomize