So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
