so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
try to milk me bitch
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
