Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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