At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize