i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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