K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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