The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
