so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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