Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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