Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Panties = found
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