What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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