Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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