How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
