Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize