just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
