Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
