you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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