At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
