so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
