kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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