God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
