nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
