Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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