So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
