So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
