It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
