oh god the rape fog is back!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
