Nicole vs. Life
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
