Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize