Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
