Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
