I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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