I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
