I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well you can't waste a boner
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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