I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
