The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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