This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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