Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
