i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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