A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have aggressive nipples.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
