Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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