Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
