Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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