Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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