I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
farters have to be the big spoon...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize