shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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