Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
