In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
