i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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