party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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