In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
