last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
