She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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