Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
