Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
