thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
