girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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