well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
