im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
